NOT a hookup kinda girl

i'm like, just a 'backup chick' for guys now. -__- it's kinda ridiculous. my boy life is VERY stupid right now, i'm kinda tired of it. it seems like, when me and someone doesn't work out because of whatever reason, they go and do their thing, get another girl and then when that doesn't work, "ohhhh hey baby jessica, how you doing?(; let's hook it up AGAIN" wtff, man...ahhh, i don't even know what to say or do anymore. it's just kinda, interesting, in a not so great way since i'm taking it as being a back up babygirl, a rebound girl, wtf. and it's always guys that i've already had THAT KIND of contact with, yakno? I AM NOT A HOOKUP KINDA GIRL! ): but i guess time and shit will tell how everything goes, whatever happens happens, everything happens for a reason right? well, let's just fucking hope i don't get screwed over anymore -___-

i just got home, &today was an overall good day, spending lots of time with my grandma and aunt and mommy and sister(: out all day! whooo<3 met up with brian where he actually SPOKE to me, instead of being shy and chickening out this time! except, this time he introduced me to his girlfriend..... whoops.... HAHAHHAAH but anyways, good day(: i was happy, i am happy. even if i'm pissed off when i think or talk about certain things, i'll be okay. time will tell and shit will pass on, i guess. right now, it's more like, dealing with other seems-like-bullshitters that talk to me, aka boys who are trying, pretty obviously, to start talking to me again. not to sound conceited or whatnot, but today i got a:
________: awww
________: alright ill take u in but just u and me :)
and a:
jessiicaphamm: and uh, as of right now
jessiicaphamm: no boyfriend
________: nice so now we can have fun
________: ;)
GREEEEAT...same guys as before, same kind of flirting as before, same fucking bull? idk what to think of it, and i'm just, whatever with it. GOING WITH THE FLOW kinda ordeal. not thinking too much of it, but hey, i'm a girl, it's going around my mind.

my left foot hurts, especially when i walk, i think i'm gonna have my dad take me to the family doctor tomorrow and have her refer a foot hurting doctor to us and we gotta get it checked out. it's been bothering me for a while now, but i always thought it'd go away, but obviously it's not. i'm trying real hard to remember if it's the same foot that i sprained back in seventh grade going down the slide during NJHS's read across america at the little park behind warner...hahaha, freaking christian ): about to leave again after dinner to go to my grandma's and see her again for the second time today<3 and be a handy girl for her and put together some shelf we got at bed bath &beyond earlier(: i miss having her live here, ahhh. i looooove my grandma, she's so cute♥ tracy phan used to say that all the time about her after we'd say bye to her leaving to school together, ahaha maaan, that was a long ass time ago since i've seen that girl! great, now i'm gonna start missing her and everyone else, LOL